Wow, this day just gets better. At least the day's latest development can probably be filed away under "entertainment value".

About an hour ago, I thought about calling John. Since we usually stay on the phone for a while, I figured I'd check my email, do a quick update here and then give him a ring.

It was almost fateful that I chose to do this before I called him. To put it gently, his last entry was fucking harsh.

Supposedly, he *wants* me to call him. Yet he referred to me (I'm doing some major paraphrasing here) as the lying idiot who's engaged to ashtray mouth...apparently because I DIDN'T call him. I didn't call him because (besides being busy or wanting to be left alone for a while) I thought there was a reason he didn't call me, like, he was out searching for chicks like he said he was going to, possibly getting laid. What would be more disturbing than bringing home a girl and having little miss ex-girlfriend ringing the phone? It turns out he didn't call me because he was testing my friendship. I guess this means if you don't call someone for two days, you're not friends. Uh-huh. Sure.

I feel the need to defend Mike and my relationship with him here. I admit it, I say bad things every now and then. Who doesn't? Don't we all get pissed off and upset every once in a while? But you see, other than random celebrities, you won't hear me say anything bad about people I don't know. I think it's wrong. I prefer to get to know someone personally before I form an opinion on them. Who the hell am I to name call and judge, anyway? Also, I don't say anything behind peoples' backs that I don't say to them personally.

Mike and I are the first to admit that things aren't exactly going smoothly in our relationship. But we're working on it. Some of you who are reading this know, Mike and I put each other through some SHIT a couple years ago. Neither of us have been really great at working out our problems, so there's still a world of hurt built up and lingering above us like the fucking plague. But that doesn't mean that we love each other any less or care about each other any less. We'll still be there for each other, we'll still be the first thought on each others' minds every day, we'll still be #1 to each other. We'll still be best friends. That silly gray teddy bear he gave me five years ago will still be the first thing I reach for when I'm upset. I'll still cling to it and cry on it like a pathetic little girl, even when I'm 90. We'll still have each others' hearts.

Although I'm really pissed off right now, I realize and respect John's right to voice his opinion. I just don't understand why he has to be so goddamn ugly about it. It makes me feel like I really made the right choice by not following him down to religious country. I don't think he knows me the way he thinks he does.

Still, I don't hate him. I want to be his friend. I want us to be nice to each other...I just don't think I can be nice to him today. Maybe I'll call him tomorrow. We'll see what happens. I'm still pretty pissed at being tested like this. I'm still offended by what he said.

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